I love my job as a therapist! I am honored that people trust me to talk about their most difficult issues – sometimes sharing things they have never talked about with anyone else. You might be surprised to learn what therapists think about or experience on the other side of the couch. So here it is – my 5 confessions about what it is like to be a therapist.
1. I get nervous too. New clients entering therapy for the first time are expected to be a bit nervous. As trained therapists we are adept at putting clients at ease and building rapport. But it may surprise you that therapists can get nervous too. A successful therapeutic relationship, where a client feels we are partners, is the number one predictor of successful therapy outcomes; even more so than therapeutic approach or technique. So I am very driven to make sure the client feels safe to talk honestly, and hope they view me as someone who can help them through the most difficult aspects of their lives. It’s a bit of pressure.
2. I can’t help everyone. No matter how much passion, skill or ability I have, one of the hardest lessons I have learned is that I’m not always the best therapist for every client. It’s not a failure to identify the needs of the client and be able to outline the best course of action, which sometimes means finding a therapist with a specialty I don’t have. But what I have learned is that some of the most satisfying times in my profession is to be able to say to a client, “The best help I can give you is to help you find someone who is better suited for your needs.”
3. People are sometimes afraid of me. When people hear that I am a therapist, they often respond with things like, “Oh no. Are you analyzing me right now?” Therapy is not magical, is definitely NOT mind-reading, and does not happen at a party. My job is never about making judgements, giving advice, or having opinions about what I think is best. That’s what sets a therapeutic relationship apart from a friendship. As a therapist, I help each client find their own best path, and that path lies within the client. I can only do this by getting to know their circumstances, their goals, and their personality through therapeutic conversation.
4. I go to therapy too. Attending to the emotional needs of others requires me to have the ability to fully focus and attend to each client’s needs. I’m not immune to life’s trials and tribulations, and it’s important that I am able compartmentalize my own stuff so as not to be distracted during sessions. Any skilled therapist will tell you how important it is for us to check in with ourselves to avoid countertransference – the redirecting of our feelings or beliefs onto a client. Addressing and managing countertransference is an important aspect of our training. Furthermore, there is no denying how valuable it is seeing things from a client perspective. Being a client in therapy is by far one of the best things I do to be a good therapist.
5. Being a therapist is hard work. Granted, I’m not lifting anything heavy, but providing therapy is surprisingly draining. Therapists are trained to actively listen, which means we are not just hearing words, but we are simultaneously clarifying meaning for the client, conveying messages through our non-verbal body language, and strategically guiding clients through questions and responses. Throughout the entire therapeutic conversation, we are thinking intently about the best way to guide a client toward their goals. It’s typical for me to feel the exhaustion at the end of the day.
Therapeutic intervention has overwhelmingly proven to be effective in treating depression, anxiety, adjustment disorders, PTSD, and many other mental health challenges. And just 20 sessions or less, instead of a lifetime of psychotherapy, make a significant impact. No matter what you might be going through, consider partnering with a licensed therapist to help you. To make an appointment with The Connected Owl, just click on the Appointment button.
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